As the title states, today was the first day of my one week pre-operative diet. I call it a liquid diet most of the time, but it's really not. The sheet I was given says I need to drink a protein shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and that I may have a small meal for dinner consisting mainly of a protein source and possibly a low-carb veggie.
Today I found I had trouble eating or drinking at all. When I have to be mindful I sometimes become fearful, but I realized today that just because you have to be in control doesn't mean that you cut yourself off. It means that you control yourself and switch your brain on. My mom went to GNC today because I asked her to pick up an IDS New Whey Protein Bullet; a small, three-ounce plastic vial of a viscous-like liquid that has forty-two grams of protein. I wanted to try one because I really wanted to buy a case to take with me to the hospital. Usually, they give Bariatric post-ops diluted apple juice, which can actually make you dump. Also, protein helps the body heal much faster after an invasive procedure so the sooner you begin drinking it, the better. My mom decided to buy a whole case of the Fruit Punch flavor and brought them home.
They are DELICIOUS! I can see how the texture might bother some people, but it's fine with me. It tastes like a melted cherry popsicle and the texture reminds me of a bite of Jell-O that one has swished around in their mouth to liquify it. They have very little if any protein taste or aftertaste... I just love them. So it looks like my mom made the right decision in buying a case. I'll be holding off on drinking them, though, because like I said, I'd like to take them with me to the hospital. I had a chicken breast for dinner which was very good and I later had a tablespoon of peanut butter. Other than that, I've had water and Crystal Lite today. I have a rip-roaring headache that I know is from carb withdrawl, but it's okay. They say it gets easier each day and I'll take their word for it.
A few things were brought to my attention today that made me question whether or not I was really ready for this surgery. In the end, I'm quite aware that there are things that will never cross my lips again. Sometimes it makes me feel sad, but for the most part you know what? I. DO NOT. CARE. I've eaten enough for five nineteen-year-olds lifetimes and I'm ready to reclaim my health, my spot on the "Loser's Bench", and my life. I am ready to spread my wings and to be strong and to live. Simply live.
It's not going to be easy. I know that it will require extensive therapy and effort every single day on my part. Every day that I wake up from now on, I'll have to make the decision to wake up and fight my battles with food. I know I'll win. I may stumble, it happens to the best of us from time to time, but I am winning this battle every second that I choose the right path. I am ready for this life change. No one can stop me now!
Day two of the diet should prove interesting, as well. It's my dad's birthday today. I don't know food wise, but I do know that he's agreed to go with me again today to GNC. Whether it comes to pass or not is yet to be seen, but I'd like to pick up a bottle or two of the Oh Yeah! RTD (Ready to Drink) and see what they taste like. If they're good, I might buy a case for when I'm switched on to full liquids. It's a week of clear liquids after my surgery, (that means water based and sugar free) and then three weeks of full liquids, (when I can add milk-based products like pudding and cream soups, but they still have to be sugar free and low, low-fat) and then I'll be switched on to soft foods at the month mark, (mushy consistency like cottage cheese) and then they'll slowly work me back to foods that contain meat and are a bit more solid. The sugar-free, low-fat, low-carb remains in place for the rest in my life. And I've come to realize today: I'm perfectly okay with that.
Time to fly!
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