Tuesday, March 31, 2009

4/1/2009: Birthdays and Temperance...

Once again it feels like March 31st to me since I'm posting this at 2:16 AM on the morning of April 1st. April Fools Day... hmm...

Today was my dad's birthday. He turned forty-four today. He was mostly okay today, but everyone is really starting to see the side effects of him being off his anti-depressants. I hope he finds a way to work it out soon because he feels better when he's not depressed, duh. He handles things with more ease. Although I will say for all of the explosions I've been seeing, I've also seen them tempered with an attitude of humility and seeking forgiveness. I still hope he gets back on those meds, though!

I had an Isopure Dutch Chocolate shake this morning with a little DaVinci Caramel, (DaVinci is a line of sugar-free syrups they use to flavor coffee in a lot of places, but I also have raspberry and Kahlua along with my caramel to flavor my protein shakes). It had fifty grams of protein, which was a nice start to the... er, afternoon. My sleeping patterns have been so whacked lately. We went to GNC today and I told the ladies there my story. They were both so nice and said they want to see me there as much as possible, so I promised them I'd be back. I WILL be, too... gotta keep those Bullets a-coming! I like telling my story, for some reason. I think it gives people hope, and I like giving people hope. At GNC we picked up two Oh Yeah! Good Grab Protein Bars so that I could try them. I had one for lunch and it was delicious.

My dad wanted nachos for dinner. Rather than eat the chips, I layered some fat-free refried beans with a little taco meat and some cheese in a bowl. I melted the cheese and topped it with a little low-fat sour cream and a dab of salsa. It was yummy! My pre-op sheet said that "last suppers" should be tempered, which I understand. I had a piece of cake tonight, which I'm not proud of. I justified it to myself by saying it was dad's birthday, but I know that's no excuse! For my credit, I was able to stop at one piece and not gorge myself. The brain switch-on happened a little late this time, but I'm glad it came.

So today begins day three of the pre-op diet. Wednesday. I have, counting Wednesday and not Monday the 6th, five days until surgery. It's nerve-wracking, but I know I'm ready now. On Saturday I have a brunch date with a friend of mine. I'll be eating, but it'll be small, protein packed, low-carb and low-fat. I'd also like to take a bottle with some dry Nectar powder to fill up to keep me going. I still have a headache, but now I reckon it's from lack of sleep and not lack of food. I feel like a zombie.

Things are getting better and I'm glad of it. I'm confident in my ability to land with my feet firmly planted in a brand new life after this surgery, with no looking back.

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